Eagleson
1st Floor

Published:
March 03, 2015

Sup fools. It’s been a while since new post. Yes, I am aware of this. I’d like to do noth­ing more than research­ing for blog mate­ri­als, but that’s not how life works all the time. You hope to be able to do the things you for leisure as your actual job some­day. Some people have achieved this, but the vast major­ity of us don’t have that luxury avail­able to us in the present. There’s other oblig­a­tions in life; you gotta cover those bases before you can even start to have fun for your­self. A lot of people don’t even get to have fun ever because they have other prior­i­ties that take prece­dence. Lots of people are just miser­able all the time. Just keep doing you and it’ll work out even­tu­al­ly, some­times, you know? For me, I’ll admit this isn’t the first prior­ity on my list short­-term and long-term plans, but you gotta express your­self in some sort of outlet. When you keep all that stress and worry­ing in you for a long time you snap and then you catch some­thing reck­less and do some­thing you regret. I’ll prob­a­bly say 70% of crimes happen just because those people snap and have to do some crazy shit. The other 20% is corrupt law systems and false impris­on­ments and what­ev­er. But there’s some people that are just built crazy, so there’s not a lot you can do about some of those people. Just give them their outlets and hope they don’t kill anybody.

The first review of 2015 is graced by the first floor bath­room of Eagle­son Hall. Eagle­son is located off the main affair of campus, on the corner of 15th and 42nd. It looks like a castle buttress, sort of. This build­ing is initially very intim­i­dat­ing because they have numpads on all the exte­rior doors. I had some horri­ble econom­ics lecture there a couple years ago but I don’t remem­ber the doors having those features yet. You gotta imag­ine all sorts of crazy folks that hang out on the Ave try to do all kinds of shenani­gans near there so they’re just trying to forti­fy. You don’t want some drugged out dude going through all your acad­emic shit. So I imag­ine secu­ri­ty’s pretty tight nowadays.

Eagle­son happens to be the home of the Depart­ment of Speech and Hear­ing Sciences. I know some people that stud­ied that in college, so I know that it’s totally a thing, I just have no idea what sort of stud­ies this would entail. It’s this small portion of the acad­emic universe my satel­lite tele­scopes can’t take pictures of. No clue. The one thing I do know about SHS is that there are approx­i­mately 0% men in this field since every person in that build­ing except the secre­tary was female. This is good for those of us that fall in the (1) male and (2) need to go to the bath­room but you’re near the Ave and it’s before dark demo­graph­ics. You gotta imag­ine the female restrooms in there are a night­mare. The lines during pass­ing peri­ods must be all kinds of wack­ness. Sani­tary napkins every­where, you know? Those aren’t really my area of exper­tise though. I’m more well-versed in the male and unisex vari­eties for sure.

I mean, the inte­rior of the 1st floor men’s room isn’t anything to write home about. It can be summed up in three words: beige and window­less. There’s a couple strate­gi­cally placed mirrors to make it look bigger, which it kind of does I suppose. There’s a urinal and a stall. I ducked into the stall and it was nice and spacious, not too dark and cavernous. This bath­room has a nice shelf addi­tion across from the sinks so you don’t have to fina­gle with your messen­ger bag or man purse or satchel or what­ever is in your hands that you can’t hold while you’re going to the bath­room or don’t want to put on the bath­room floor. It was clean and odor­less. Not much more you can ask out of a bath­room, except with the bonus of the afore­men­tioned 10000000000:1 female:­male ratio so you will never have to be afraid of being near a human being that produces more testos­terone than estro­gen while you’re poop­ing if you ever choose to do so here. Defi­nitely gonna stash this one in the mind palace for when I’m wander­ing about the Ave during daylight hours.

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