The challenge of going to the bathroom here was one that has been on my mind for quite some time. The allure of the small corner of campus that the engineering triplex consisting of Roberts, Miller and More Halls had been tempting me for quite some time. I attribute this to my regrets of, in no particular order of impact on my conscience: not applying to any department in the engineering college whatsoever, even though my admission was practically guaranteed; not listening to my overbearing Asian mother and following an engineering/medical career path like most of my fellow hapa peoples with an equally overbearing Asian parent told them to do so; realizing too late that an engineer would be more qualified in practically every way possible in my desired career path; noticing way too late that more than a third of all the internships in the entire world are engineering internships; and so forth.
Perhaps I should have known better than to explore a good pooping site with a heavy conscience. It is not in the best interest of the student who walks the campus walkways of Seattle in search of suitable restrooms, as it does not allow one to be filled with the spirit of the search, the quest to find “the one.” Of course there are certain times to reflect upon your past but the middle of an adventure regardless of its magnitude is absolutely no time to do so.
Disappointment will be abound in explorations such as these, and Roberts Hall was of no exception. Although, it could be said that it fell on the other side of the spectrum of disappointments, as it was so disappointing that it was just as invigorating as discovering a great bathroom. The main entrance to Roberts, located on the second floor, contained no restrooms whatsoever. A quick trek up to the third floor on one of the side staircases ended up being a dead end as the door to the third floor was locked. I backtracked and took the main stairwell up to the third floor again. This set of stairs had pictures of miners working underground, which begs the asking of the question, “What did these guys do when they had to go to the bathroom?”
The third floor was just department offices and reminded me of my dentist in terms of decor. A peek into the men’s room was all I needed. Unfurnished, concrete walls, a mere two urinals and one stall, and very dim lighting. Some other guy was pooping in my desired stall. I was disgusted with the outfitting of this particular bathroom so much that I hiked down the two flights of stairs to the first floor and pooped in its similarly unfurnished but dissimilarly empty men’s room.
Pondering my personal academic woes did not make the Roberts reviewing experience any more enjoyable. I needed to get out of here quickly, but how so? I tried the exit sign near the men’s room, hoping it would lead me out to the below-ground courtyard of Miller Hall, but ended up luckless again as I took a right and after tripping on an uneven sidewalk slab realized this was not connecting to my exit. I had to enter the ground floor of More, find the stairs to get me to the first floor, backtrack and walk out its side exit about 50 feet away from my original entrance into Roberts.
All in all, this experience was extremely disappointing for many reasons, spanning from “having to walk up six flights of stairs” to “existential crisis.” They keep these buildings in a weird corner of campus for a reason: to discourage any poor souls from using the bathroom here. Avoid at all costs.