There’s only three buildings on campus, I think, where I’ve used every single (men’s) bathroom that I know of. Kane was completed very early on, and Gerberding followed shortly afterward, but mostly because students and faculty aren’t allowed above the first floor. Gowen was successfully surveyed last month to round out the list. Parrington is next on my list. Why Parrington, you may ask? Part of it is its prime location on the Memorial Drive roundabout where foot traffic and automobile traffic abound. Part of it is that I walk past it several times a week, and it happens to be about the midway point of my walks from wherever I’m going to and wherever I’m coming from. It’s my last checkpoint where I can use the bathroom before I do so upon arrival at my destination, however far into the future that may be, so I frequent Parrington as a precaution, and based on the ever-present foot traffic, I’d assume the same for other people, too. Basically it’s a convenience thing.
Parrington is home to the Evans School of Public Affairs, which, after all my time on campus, I still don’t know what that constitutes. But I guess it’s pretty competitive because not that many people are in there at any given time for whatever reason. In general, this is a good indicator of low-frequency bathroom use. So all you shy folks, start thinking for yourselves and observe which buildings are crowded or not and deduce potential bathroom scenarios from your findings. Be cognizant of your environment and all that. Perform some deductive reasoning or whatever.
The second floor bathroom has been reviewed already so I won’t extrapolate on that. If you’re in a hurry you can just skip up one flight of stairs and call it a day. If you can muster up the patience and determination to hike up that next flight, your sacrifices could be paid off and then some. Shy and awkward readers alike will be happy to know that Parrington 3 is a one-man room with the vacant-occupied deadbolt on the front. No unnecessary interactions. Just streamlined efficiency and privacy.
In a perfect world, all bathrooms would be like this, but that’s simply ineffective building design and can’t accommodate nearly as many people. Besides, if a bathroom like that gets used heavily on a daily basis, it’s going to be gross before your 10:30 class. So it’s good that these sorts of one-man bathroom asylums are few and far in between. They should be diamonds in the rough. You should be able to pretend that they’re closets you walk through to get to Narnia or Neverland and they’re your own little secret hideaway sanctuary. When you dilute things like that for the masses, everyone gets to experience their own magical happy place but now the experience is watered down and smellier. In a sense it’s paradoxical that this blog exists because I’m letting all y’alls know about the best spots only to let more people in the know about them and making these spots less exclusive and cool and private. But this isn’t a philosophical type of site so I try to ignore all those contradictions. I just do me.
The nice part about Parrington 3 is that it has a decent amount of natural sunlight. It’s tucked into an inside-facing corner facing northeast which means it’s always in the shade but that means that you get enough sunlight and nobody can see you (the windows are marbled and blurred anyway). It’s just a nicer, calmer atmosphere than being in a place with no windows, which is why I like this bathroom so much. Yeah, it’s small, but if you subtract your shower from the bathroom at your house it’s probably just as big, if not bigger, and it’s only intended for one person, so just keep things in perspective. This one is probably one of my favorite joints to go poop on campus now. Get to it quick before word gets out.