The general consensus for Sieg Hall is that it is by far and away the ugliest building on campus. It would be an uphill battle to defend its kaleidoscopic, dull-gray architecture and unimpressive hallway layout. I guess the only good thing about Sieg is that it’s impossible to get lost inside since every floor is literally one hallway. Considering that the Dept. of Electrical Engineering offices are located there I’d say that’s borderline insulting their intellectual capacity.
Directly across from the entrance to the Department offices on the first floor is the bathroom complex. They’re shoddily thrown into the corner opposite the building entrance, as if the architects were so impressed with themselves that they could integrate in trapezoids and hexagons into an exterior design that their heads were so far up their asses and as a result they were physically incapable of pooping so they never bothered to install bathrooms but then they remembered that people vastly inferior to them do on occasion have to use the bathroom so they edited some blueprints and added some in the corners of each floor in the final stages of construction.
The little corridor that’s there to block people outside the bathroom from seeing your genitalia or whatever is so narrow I got a case of claustrophobia. You couldn’t fit two people abreast if you tried (you probably could but how uncomfortable would that be for you and the other poor soul that you had to brush up against?). The claustrophobic urges continue as the bathroom crams three urinals too tightly together you could stand in front of the far left and still manage to pee in the right one. Note that I did not attempt this.
There’s two sitty-downies surrounded by walls that the Big Bad Wolf could blow down as he battles a case of pneumonia. I took the left one and did my business. The inside of the stalls had some nice graffiti, most notably the encouragement to “YOU GO S—– THAT ———!” After looking at the spots that were rubbed out, I found the words “suck” and “dick” still faintly there. Some people would look at that and get all offended, but imagine if you were performing oral sex in that stall and you saw those words encouragement. If some guy dropped trow right in front of me, my heterosexual self would have been sufficiently motivated to take it on.
Between observing graffiti and remembering to not forget my water bottle on the shelf above the toilet (which I totally did anyways) and thinking of how weird oral sex is, I noticed the tiling on the floors and realized that there was no discernible pattern made with the 1-inch tiles. Imagine laying those stupid tiles one by one for hours on end. It was so daunting that it killed my motivation for oral sex immediately.
It could have been the fact that I graced Sieg with a review at 8:30 in the morning or that nobody actually goes to classes in that building because they are so repulsed by its aesthetics that they’d rather stay home but that entire building was empty save for the secretary at the Department office that I saw walk in. I imagine that that part of the building is pretty quiet all day, so all you privacy enthusiasts just got another low-key bathroom spot. Seriously though, this bathroom is not that bad. It might be the one redeeming quality for the ugliest building ever built in the history of the world.